Don't you hate it when this happens...

Had to post it...

"Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery?" Jay Leno

The magic button — Make Everything OK

Go ahead... be daring! Click on the link and see the real thing!

This is what makes the Internet a fun place... a real change from the news sites, Faceboook, Wikipedia and some of the scary stuff out there. Let me remind you what life is all about than with this quote...

“Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” Cecil Beaton

Oi Vey!!!

This would be serious, fortunately she was saved by the police in spite of the headline!
The quote is fitting and classic as well!
"As electronic journalism came to be evaluated for its cost effectiveness, the network world began breaking up." Roger Mudd

Go BOKKE!

We play Wales on Sunday but as it all starts today let me just wish our team all of the best... play with your hearts and give it your all... Fifty million Saffers will be cheering you on guys!

Robbie Wessels - Die Coach Se Speech (Snorre)

Robbie Wessels - Bokkoors (eye of the tiger)
Then we must remember that we are all player No 23!

Robbie Wessels - Player 23
GO BOKKE... Let's Do It Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger"

Are you serious!

Wayne Minaar for idiot of the century!
"You can’t pull the wool over the eyes of the Joburg metro cops.

Officers from the Joburg metro police department (JMPD) impounded a flock of seven sheep outside a Sandton business, and fined the business R2 000 for illegal trading.

The sheep were made of wire and beads, and were outside the Bang & Olufsen shop in Peter Place in Sandton to amuse staff and passersby.

They were decorations, argued the staff, but were met with what amounted to a “Bah”.

“They would have to pay a pound fee, to get them out of the pound,” said JMPD spokesman Wayne Minnaar."

The worst part is that Mr Minnaar is serious, please help here Dr Phil!
Shipo also needs re-tuning! "“You can’t just put things outside for decoration… The goods probably were sold to the public,” said Sipho Dlepu, the head of by-law enforcement."
Eish! Only in South Africa!
“To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology”
Mark Twain 1835-1910

Gotta love British humor!

"With over 900 years of motorbike building prowess behind them!"

Exstra Classes

Hope their maths skills are better than their spelling skills... or was it the sign writer's error?
This brings me to a though I have been mulling over for months now... call it a pipe dream if you will but I do think it needs consideration in our country.
What if we could challenge the Government to cut back in luxury spending plus make a 33% cut in salaries of all politicians, the money thus saved must then go into getting all schools up to world class standard. The high school in Seymour in the Eastern Cape must then be brought up to par with those in Santon!
It is shocking to see the state of some rural schools when one thinks that since 1994 the government has had the funds to right the situation, it is criminal that some children still go to school under trees. To blame Apartheid is utter lies... keeping the people uneducated so as to make them reliant on hand outs thus twisting their arm to keep voting your particular party in power at each election is a crime against humanity.
"A human being is not attaining his full heights until he is educated." Horace Mann

Another Tuesday Twit

Sounds more like a...

"Scientists from the department could perhaps help us and come up with instruments that could help community members protect themselves against lightning." It already exists! It is called a lightning rod Numsa... a simple metal pole taller than the thatch hut placed a a few meters away to cause the lightning to pass harmlessly down the pole instead of setting fire to the thatch and burning the people inside...
The punch line must be this quote:
"The department has dealt with floods and fires, but lightning was new to us," said Dube.

Dear Nomsa... do yourself a favor and learn how to Google a subject before making a Twit of yourself in public. This may come in handy, seems like the interwebs have the answer to your question already! What really puzzles me rather is that people voted for her? This is more evidence that we humans are losing our common sense as well as becoming more stupid it seems. Loved the movie by the way...
Now let me go and wipe the spilled coffee off my shirt, my laughing caused the spill while reading this news item...
"If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron." Lee Trevino .

27 Neutrons

Once again the mediocre journalism displayed on Internet News sites rears its head.

“It would take a deliberate action ...to fire this,” forensic analyst Albert Wessels said in testimony.
The force or pressure on the trigger needed to be 27 neutrons or 2.8 kilograms to fire the pistol.

Sir Isaac would die laughing...
“This most beautiful system [The Universe] could only proceed from the dominion of an intelligent and powerful Being.” Isaac Newton

Cloud Cuckoo?

So... Mr Microsoft wants to add a dollar or two to advance the idea of enhancing cloud formation.
" Even if that goes well, the technology has a long way to go before it can significantly alter the climate — a recent study showed that it would it take 1,900 ships at a cost of over $7 billion to stop Earth’s temperature from rising."
Bully for him... I just have some doubts, because we all know how well his Software works... Blue Screen of Death comes to mind, plus those ships look top heavy... I wonder what will happen with them during hurricane season?
I say leave nature to do what nature does best... at present it seems to be cooling down the earth quite well, the past summer here in SA has been cloudier and wetter than normal... I wonder why?
"My bounce-around life had taught me that dreams were dangerous things - they look solid in your mind, but you just try to reach for them. It's like gathering clouds." Kirby Larson, Hattie Big Sky, 2006

If the clothes reflect the mentality then so be it

This makes me think of Clown Suits somehow... some characters like Julius Malema would look perfect in these!

How they came about picking the colours beats me I ques Denzil sums it up best...
"That's a clown suit. That's a costume, with a big sign on it that says 'Arrest me'. You understand? You're too loud, you're making too much noise. Listen to me, the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room. "

Oh the Irony...

Ironic that a staunch proponent of Atheism gets a Bible Advert on his Blog... maybe someone is trying to tell Charles something? I used to frequent his blog but then something happened when Obama came on the scene... LFG went to the Darkside!
Update: 01-12-2009
Somehow I can no longer access his blog... I think he has banned me!

Traditional Spaghetti Western from Gigi...

D'Agostino, typical of the genre...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PAOAg7DJ2w
I laughed myself silly... This reminded me of all the Trinity movies with Terrence Hill (Mario Girotti) and Bud Spencer (Carlo Pedersoli) we used to watch in the drive in. Hope you all enjoy it too.
Of course there were the more serious ones starring Clint Eastwood and many other actors of note. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly being the one I remember most and the one I regard as the very best of the genre.





















Now I wish we still had drive in movies!
"You see in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig." Clint Eastwood (Man with no name/Blondie) The Good, The Bad and The Ugly 1966

Words are not enough

Sparrow has a weekly Haiku contest, the theme this week was THINGS YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR, my choice was her own that I am gratuitously stealing as I do not have the words to express my thanks enough for having the life I have with the people that I have in it;
Enfolded in love

My price paid in coin so dear
I am His alone

So simple yet so profound... Thanks Sparrow, I am linking your blog as well.

KatieB is wondering why blogging has been sparse lately, well... between being as busy as a mongoose in a henhouse at work and spending time with Moondancer, there has been a lack of time to blog... I am not complaining though... bear with me as I try and get all that needs to be done before year end. I have a few drafts for some more intresting blogs lying in wait... now to grab the next chicken...
Thanks Doug for your Savage Chickens! Today's one was worth a thousand words.
"Do not count your chickens before they are hatched."
Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC), The Milkmaid and Her Pail

Here follows a short bulletin

Been meaning to do some linky love for a while now...
MizMinka has some great stuff to read and she also loves the Lord, maybe not putting up as much Gospel related stuff as I have been lately but hers are well worth a read.
For those who do not know yet, Moondancer and I are now know as US... Fait accompli!
Just a reminder that my friend KatieB is still blogging as well. Some of her musings are worth commenting on.
I trust you all will bear with me as I speak what is on my mind lately, I am not becoming a preacher or a minstrel but God and romance are keeping me rather occupied lately hence the tone of the postings lately.
On a serious note or as I see it sublimely ridiculous, nay, hilarious, I have been accused of stealing... how I do not know as the system I manage just cannot be stolen from, I really think there are crazy people out there that need serious help. Must put that on my prayer list tonight... The poor detective that is investigating this said that a good percentage of these cases are made just to cause the accused embarrassment but waste a huge amount of their time that could be spent investigating real cases. I now see why the police want to fine people laying false charges with huge fines.
So if I stop blogging... please bail me out!
"Fear does not have any special power unless you empower it by submitting to it."
Les Brown, Communication Bulletin for Managers & Supervisors, June 2004

Speaking pirate day

Just for fun... run your favourite blog or website through this See How A Pirate Would Say It. This is paragraph from a previous posting:
When I saw todays APOD I be amazed at th' interplay o' nature's forces then I saw what legends be made off, look closely at th' ash plume an' ye will se th' fire god o' th' mountain crouched down on his haunches, wi' a mane o' wild hair blown t' th' port an' arms folded o'er his knees. If I be a primitive man I would be havin' thought I had jus' seen th' fire god o' th' mountain!
Hope you all had fun on Piratespeak day...

Ok...

Now I have heard it all...

This file photo from April 12, 2006, shows Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha during debate in the legislative chamber in Lincoln, Neb. Saying that God has caused "fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes," Nebraska's longest-serving state senator says he is suing the Almighty to make a legal point.(AP Photo/Nati Harnik, file)

Somehow I think God will pass on appearing in court... or maybe not... Just imagine the look on his face if it happens.

This somehow proves my point about politicians... sadly it reflects on the people who voted for him!

"Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason." Unknown

Duct Tape for the Soul

I still have a score to settle with that Cherub, he and Murphy are on my hit list... but I know the crush is over and I have a friend for life. As Dr Phil says "What were you thinking", must have been all that wind in my ears the last two weeks! They say the wind whispers and puts ideas in our heads...
As I sat pondering our last conversation this played over the headphones:

All I Really Want - Alanis Morrisette

Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate
I don't dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter

And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance
Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm so relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the Maker

And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature
What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred
Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around...all around
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?

Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're gonna die
Or did you long for the next distraction
And all I need know is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer

All I really want is some peace man
a place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice...

The song sort of put in perspective all the chaotic amazing things I have experienced these last few weeks, well sort of... the "apathy" line is pure bull... but the one about dropping pretenses is true... This got me realising that more than once my music collection has pulled me from the brink of some chasm or another and helped me resolve this thing we call life, duct tape for the soul of sorts. That and my three manuals, The Book and two sets of lists for life...
It is true that music soothes the troubled soul. Whoever discovered that was a genius... I think that person lives on as Winamp!
The following poem from the website link sums up my thoughts up perfectly.

Musical Healing
by Kate Clifford

I grasp upon musical notes to save my tortured soul.
Tortured by the anguish I have allowed into this lifetime.
Notes bring pain from inside, humming through my lips.
I feel it leaving like a prayer with words I cannot say.
Releasing a sorrow of pent up dreams forever broken.

Ripping guts, unspoken pain screams to the universe.
Fears are leaping as the music continues to play on.
A prayer forms in energy that I do not understand.
Lips quiver as I feel the answer without thoughts.
Musical notes break chains I have not yet named.

Hearing the flute begging me to dance with life energy,
I can’t help but snap my fingers to the irresistible beat.
Inside vibrations lift me to a new feeling of exultation.
Not one word spoken as the humming continues on.
Pain releasing a new healing with these musical notes.
Now I understand why we enjoy multifaceted music, it blends with us multifaceted humans in such a wonderful way, another Gift we should be grateful for, just like friends...
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together." (Just like friendship.)
Carl Zwanzig (This is the first time I am adding to a quote... makes that truism seem more like wisdom!)

Ronnie's What?

Morning breaks while I wait to be picked up to get reunited with the Beast.
Life sprouting from decay and the circle continues... I made it to Century City and The Canal Walk shopping centre, signposting for the canal Walk was rather obscure though but after using some logic I figured out was going on, just sorry I took no pictures though. Got to Mug&Bean easily as I had parked right at the entrance it was at. Met H as well as our Union Rep! She was also visiting her kids in the Cape... H seems quite happy but we did not get much chance to talk... L was shopping! and only arrived after a while, she is having a ball with mom and I am glad they could be together again. Finished up mu brunch for the road and we said our goodbyes... I want to get home... somehow the song Missing is ringing in my head as I head north up the N1 to Worcester and the turnoff to Route 62...
The valley where my and M's favourite sauce is made! This is also the Koo valley that Route 62 goes through. Scenic beyond description.
Someone else doing Route 62 in a V12 Jaguar... fellow seekers of the highway's treasures...
A stiff breeze blows as I dismount at the den of iniquity that I had heard and read about... but do not judge a book by it's name.
The best bouncer in the Klein Karoo, if he growls at you, you are asked politely that your presence has offended the bouncer and that you had better be on your way... he never growled once while I was there...
Ronnie tending to his patrons needs, I wish I had more time to spend and hear about all the stories this interesting man has to tell... I will be back!
The road from here to Oudsthoorn was very good and had some good twisties especially outside Calitzdorp, fortunately it only got dark as I approached Oudtshoorn... I found the Yatclub that Ronnie had recomended very easily and they made me feel very welcome... I walked up the street to the Dros and had supper while watching the Sharks trounce WP... as I walked back Missing played in my head again...
Day 11 of 12 Days with Shrek

Depending on the wind

Sometimes one comes across people that just have a way with words that can describe or relate the most mundane in hilarious ways, one of these is Og the Neanderpundit as well as this from Yorkshire Pudding but I think this one must get first prize for the category of Bog Logging. This was mailed to a group I belong to but I will forgo exposing the name as he has asked to remain anonymous due to his position in society. The picture is from Grant who did some photo shopping to suit the story, however some smudging has been done to retain anonymity!

So there I am, marching up the first hill on the edge of the South Downs,
which I use as my warm up prior to my 2 -3 times a week 2.5mile cross country
run with the dog. It takes great fortitude on my part, I have to say,
especially the morning after a late shift at work, and today was one of those
days where I had had to really push myself as it had just started to drizzle
as well.
So I get halfway up the hill, my MP3 player booming away in my ears, the dog
on the look out for rabbits, when I feel the need to do an urgent fart. No
problem, I just let it go slowly. Except someone then poured concrete into my
back passage. And my shorts felt slightly wet.
I do not fucking believe it. I'd already spent a good 20 mins on the bog
offloading before i left the house. Am I forever to be haunted by my trip to
India and my subsequent Delhi Belly?
So I ploughed into the nearest thicket, bordered with stinging nettles and
brambles, which cut my legs to buggery but which with arse cheeks clenched
against the flow I was unable to leap nimbly over in my usual manner. Fergus
the dog now thinks we're on a proper adventure, and he's bounding around my
legs trying to trip me up. I've got a pulse beating in my glutes that I have
never noticed before, and Talking Heads 'Slippery People' booming in my ears.
I am conscious that at 0930, my main co-ramblers are usually middle aged
female dog walkers, I am wearing a white t-shirt which is not blending into
the foliage at all well, and I am about to do the biggest shit of my life.
With no bogroll. Or a toilet. Or a door to close.
So I dropped my shorts and undies, one of my best pairs as well, grabbed hold
of a tree trunk, and leant back like a yachtsman on a tack, so as to avoid
filling my shorts good and proper. I can live with a wet patch, but a gusset
full of slurry I can do without.
Whoosh. It was like one of those pictures which get circulated on the
internet of a bloke spraying liquid shite from his arse. It went a full metre
or more across the thicket and into the undergrowth. Fuck knows where the
pressure came from, or why it even existed, when I had not eaten anything
dodgy at all for ages. Luckily Fergus had gone back to hunting out rabbits or
else he would have got quite a shock.
So then I am stuck with a wet arsehole, my shorts round my ankles, and no
means of cleaning up. Wistfully, I disengaged my ankles from my undies, and
using them like a pull through, did the business before lobbing them into the
bushes. No doubt a passing fox is chomping on them as I type. Then I noticed
a middle aged couple, talking to each other and pointing into my thicket from
about 30metres away. They can only have thought that I was some sort of
weirdo who shits in bushes while spying on passers by, which at that moment
was a fairly forgivable presumption I suppose.
What a nightmare. I aborted the run and went home, figuratively and literally
deflated.
I'll try again in the morning....
Thanks T... that was brilliant and worth a 10 point beverage warning! I hope Og reads it sometime, he will commend your style!
"The job is not done till the paperwork is done" Unknown